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Its been a year. Wooooo

It really has been a year since I last posted here.
I have been around, reading other peoples journal's. I realized that the most I was reading were communities, and not so many people. Something I need to work on is reconnecting with people rather then just moving along.

SOOO much has happened since I wrote the letters to myself last year. Its been a CRAZY ass year. So I am going to * high-level* bullet post it:

The Good:
  • Met an amazing guy, to this day is just proving more & more that I am worth something to someone and I *can* trust in love again
  • Reconnected with a few friends that I kind of just fell out of touch with -- and here is to hoping the friendship stays steady again. I have missed them
  • Got to see my cousin Kyle get married
  • Actually got to go on 2 vacations - Myrtle Beach with my family & visited my best female friend;  Vegas - to see Ron & Audrea tie the know & with my guy <3
  • Met some amazing and wonderful people through CABS & Origins
  • Met and befriends a couple female friends that are total keepers
The Bad:
  • Got Robbed in March - Lost EVERYTHING valuable
  • Had some issues with certain people -- the kind that can end a friendship -- and honestly, it may still be going on. Not sure whats going on in their brain, but they aren't talking to me about it, and just acting like everything is fine. 
  • Got into 2 car accidents (neither my fault) - both end up costing me to pay though. (1 hit & run, the other same insurance and since mine had more damaged I ended up paying.)
  • Didn't get a raise at my Job as I was expecting due to the robbery & friend drama distracting me at work
  • No longer working at blockbuster after 3 years - our store was closed; But that was due to the landlord selling the property and not wanting to rent it anymore. Our Store was #2 in our district.
I guess this is a good starting point to start off with this year.

Letters to myself past and present

So I had this challenge a few days ago to write a letter to myself 10 years from now, and also 10 years ago.  
What is most interesting is I actually can write to both times in my life and have content.  Just goes to show a lot happens in life.

- Write a letter to yourself 10 years into the future.:

Dear Kristin,
I know that its been a rough road. You have had to deal with losing your brother, and many many struggles with rebuilding your credit and working on loving yourself more.  Didn't it pay off though?  I know your going to look back on the past ten years and wonder why things affected you so much back then.  Just know that all these trails and bumps you traveled... help make you who you are today.  I believe that things are going to be better in your time then they were back when.  Keep that strong attitude and motivation to do well in your life. Don't let people take advantage of your heart... We already know what Paul did to you... and you don't ever want that again.  If you haven't yet... learn to trust someone... In a romantic way. I know your hurt and damaged from what Paul put you through, but someone will come along and show you that things can be different, you just needed someone that isn't poison to you.
Keep up your motivation to keep yourself healthy. Even if its small steps and others can't see what your doing, you know its steps your taking for yourself.
-Love Your past self


Write a letter to yourself for 10 years in the past, write about what you've learned and what you may or may not do differently. 

Kristin,
A Lot of things are going on with you right now. You have some great roomies, and even though you and Ron had such a bad falling out, honestly in the end things will be better then ever.  Sure you hurt him, but both of you know you did what was right to do.  Stop worrying if you will ever be friends with him again, cause you so will.  Roger is such a douche.. I really wish I could tell you that you two make it, but he is going to hurt you really bad...on one of your worst christmas's ever. You may feel like your family is against you and that he is too, but don't let him drag you down. Both Louie and Wendy are going to pull you out. Your beautiful niece will make you smile, and in the end you are much better off with out him.
This is the motivation you needed, and its helping. You will pull through and start to meet some great people, including your best friend. Also, SAVE YOUR MONEY!  All those loan checks, you need to put them in a savings account.. its not extra money you just have. You will pay it back down the road, and its better to start now.. then you may avoid the credit hassle in the future.
I wish I can tell you not to fall in love with a guy name Paul.. I wish I could say things will work out, but in the end I can't. You need to follow your heart and you will get hurt, but with out that, you will be naive to thinking that everyone has your best interests at heart, but really you need to.  Live life more, make more female friends. Sure having guy friends is awesome, but sometimes you need to go out with just the girls. This may also help improve your self confidence, by getting to know fab girls that want to help you in life, rather then put you down.  You are an amazing person, don't let a few life hiccups stop you.
Be prepared.. your going to lose Louie.. its going to be so gut wrenching and horrible. You will be strong and fight through all the drama, and do something I didn't think you could do, and clean up Louie's mess.  This moment will define for you what is good in life. Embrace that fact, know that family is important and so are the friends that care.
Love your future self.

 I have been the slacker when it comes to writing lately. Things have been so busy at work, I find some time to read but never really write. So today I am taking some time to write!! :)

This past weekend didn't go entirely as I had planned, but that is only because I came into my second job to cover for a girl on my day off. Her grandmother died, how could I not help out you know? So Saturday night was a bit messed up since I was going to originally meet my bestie at Skully's but ended up covering for this girl, and it ran later then it was supposed to by the time I got home and would have changed and got ready to leave it would have been 1230ish. Whats the point of getting there at 1a for 1 hr of drinking/hanging out? Maybe this weekend. I really miss hanging out with her.

Friday was fun though. I took the day off of work and did some errands. But It was Go Red for Feb day. The American Heart Association was doing an event where you can "Go Red for Feb" at Paul Mitchell's School of Cosmotoleogy. I got a free hair coloring, its much darker and I love it! Gotta get some pics up. Will do soon! But it took 3 hours, so my errands got pushed back.

I decided Friday was about me enjoying the day, so I went to Easton and just did a few returns and some shopping, and had dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. Speaking of which, I got some slack from a friend. Granted this said friend is someone who is interested in me, and though making myself clear that I am only interested in friendship and nothing more, he seems to ignore that. Thinking I will "change" my mind when I am less busy, but I digress. Jim asked me why I was eating alone. I simply said "I'm hungry, why not?" He then proceeded to say "Isn't it lonely? Don't you feel weird or pathetic?" <because THAT is a way to get a girl to like you??!!!> In the end I told him "I am hungry, and I have no issue eating when I am hungry, whether I have company or not"

I mean really what is societies issue with people eating alone. Even if I were married with a huge family, whose to say I would not go out somewhere and just sit down to a meal myself? Same goes for seeing a movie. I have a WIDE movie taste, I watch almost anything. But there are movies I really want to see, and I have no friends who can go at the time I can or are interested. Does this stop me from seeing a movie solo? Hell No! I understand that some people can have a complex about being alone in public and people viewing you as "Lonely" but really, maybe I want that time alone.
Yes I am single, and yes I am not talking to anyone, but does that mean that I go and mope about it at dinner? I don't understand why society or people in society seem to think dining or doing any activity alone is odd or pathetic and lonely. It kinda irks me.

I don't have any big plans coming up. Seems kinda lame that I have so many things : Job #1 M-F, Job #2 (typically Sundays), Shadow Box Volunteering, Cabs (Friday or Saturday each week), and yet don't have much going on. I have not seen my "crush" lately at CABS I wonder if he got a girlfriend, or if he got busy at work. He was nice Eye Candy, and its always fun to play a game with a cute boy and beat him. Granted I play console games with my friends a lot and beat them there, but its not the same as being in person.

Speaking of gaming -- I am really looking forward to ORIGINS this year. I already have my ticket/badge and just really want to get to that weekend in June for days of gaming and nights of getting to know people. I met a lot of great people last time, and hope to meet more! I learned more games since then, and hope to get into more tourneys. :) I know geeky, but I love it.  

I need to spend some time with more friends, I have been just vegging out and getting over being sick, that I feel disconnected from the world slightly.

Questionable Content is this WONDERFUL comic I got into the past 2 weeks. I read ALL the way current (starting at the 2003 archive). This comic is funny and trendy with relationships. I quite enjoy it. I am recommending it to you all :)

Why Hello there... I remember you LJ

Well its been a LONG time since I posted here...

Let me start this off with a Poem I wrote using my name:

Kicking and Screaming...
Run away little one, now!
It is upon you...
Stuck, unable to assist!
Tragic! Oh the shame,
If only I could have helped
Nowhere left to run.

Its a longer take on a Haiku, and I know its not about seasons lol.
I have a lot of things going on. First and foremost, I like to say congrats to my friendsbluebuckeye  and nowise  who will be getting married in just over a month. SOOOO excited for them, and SOOO can't wait till the wedding. Two people who are meant for one another I tell you.

So I started working at Blockbuster in August of 2009. I will be quiting there in a few weeks. Its WELL over due.  I wanted to keep it to help with my credit restoration process, which might I add has been great, but now I have a car payment to think about, and honestly I rather work selling Mary Kay then renting videos.  I like the people I work with , but that job adds added stress onto me that I don't need.
Next, I got a promotion. Well its more of a Lateral promotion since its on my same team and under the same manager, just a different role. This to me is still pretty great. I have worked in my current role for about 2 years now, and I am ready for new challenges. :)

Working with Mary Kay is another new thing for me, its a great experience so far, for the little I have done with it. But I plan to make things happen with it. Just going to take some time.

Some friends are coming into town this weekend. We are going to Shadow Box for the last weekend of Nightmare at the Box. I have 4 free tickets and they HAVE to be used Friday, so there you go.  Also lots of gaming will ensue. I can see that now.

Well I better get back to work, but I wanted to update a bit here. Been WAY too long.

Do you want an IPAD?



I just had to post this. Its from one of my favorite comic strips. Check it out, its funny!

But seriously , I am not a MAC person, but the reviews on this thing... from people that I know, seem to be pretty good. Granted I would not buy it now.

Anyone out there got one? If so tell me about it. If you don't tell me why not. Thoughts??

Princess Peach... Bah...

So I was just chatting with a friend about how some TV shows just end so badly, leaving viewers/fans wanting more or never getting a clear ending on the story line... which brought us to the topic of Princess Peach.

If you are not aware of who Princess Peach is you can find out here.

I can NOT stand her. In every game she is in, Bowser manages to kidnap her, and some how Mario is sucked into finding her. I mean the first couple of times, I get it. She is helpless. But after 2 times don't you think you would RUN from a big ass Turtle that has taken you captive before? I just hate how she plays dumb.
Where does this Princess Rage come from you say? It all finaly came together for me a few years ago. I was with Gary and we were playing Mario Sunshine on the Wii. I thought it was a fun game at first. But then a cut scene occurs. Its the big bad Bowser... on his way to get the princess and steal all the stars. (they are power in this game). So you see peach in her castle, just being blondish Orangish haired. and she feels the rumbling of someting SLOWLY approaching. (Mind you I said Slowly)... its Bowser he is flying this machine in, at a very slow rate, and the Princess is upstairs in her castle. She just stands there and screams "Help!" not ONCE did she try to move or run to go down stairs. All her servants and fellow star/toad people are running away and trying to hide. . . what does she do... she waits. For Bowser to come to her, after a 3 min cinematic movie cut... she is taken by him... LIKE she didn't know what was going on.

Then Bowser tells Mario he has to find Peach if he wants her back. If I were Mario at this point I would be like "FUCK THIS" and bounce. I mean come one. What has he gotten out of all this:

1) Powerwings in the early years to skip a level
2) a bunch of damn little toad people happier to see him then peach ever was...
3) Never gets any action, not even a kiss, for the princess.
4) Sure, he is popular and heroic, but also known as a pushover that would do anything for the princess.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

I really miss updating here...

Thursday I had my monthly assesment:

So Overall, I am making some changes with my weight and health. Here they are:

Weight: Lost 5lbs (which is a lot less then what they hoped for but being sick for 1.5 weeks and not eating or excersing.. yah)
BMI: Went done 2 pts (yay)
Measurements
Neck - Stayed the same
Shoulders - Lost 2 inches
Chest - Stayed the same
Waist - Lost 1 inch
Hips - Gained 1/2 inch
Thighs - Stayed the same
Calves - Gained 1 inch  (musle gain)

Now I have mixed reviews. I'm happy at the weight loss and inch loss. They care more about losing inches then weight, per say. However they feel I may have lost some of my lost some muscle because my BMI dropped more then weight drop. If that makes sense.

I had a busy weekend. Friday I ended up chatting with a friend for a bit and then working the closing shift friday night at Blockbuster. I got out of work at 11:15. I was in bed Friday night about 1am. I had to get up on Saturday at 930a.

Saturday I was up and had breakfast then went to see my Chiropracter. He fixed me shoulder and knee. Man they were both very sore. Turns out I was too! lol. I felt great afterwards.  Got home and relaxed for about 45 mins, then got ready to meet Monica in Ashland for my 1/2 of the fundraising items. Monica, Jon, and I met at the Goasis in Ashland. We talked for about 30 mins, and then I headed back home. Made it back to Columbus about 3:10pm. I was not due to go into work until 5p but I showed up at 3:45 with treats for the team, and ready to work early... I was working on these new candy displays at work. I ended up closing and we were out of there about 11:20pm.  I was in bed at about 230a (which is because I wanted to watch another prestreet before they had to go back on Monday.

Sunday I was up at 820a. I volunteered to come into BBV for a few hours to finish on some project work... I thought I was going to be straightening the BSI, but I ended up doing Candy... OH JOY! I hate candy! lol. But I got to setup the christmas display, which is cute.  It was Sharon, Heather, and I all working Sunday morning... which might I add was a nice change of pace! I was suppose to be out of there at 1130. I was there till about 12:20p HA! go figure. Heading home, Thao, Guppy, and I all got ready and left at about 1:15 to head to the Internationl Festival in Columbus. We got there about 2pm. Due to getting lost for a min and slow driving. lol. It was a nice fesitval. They had entertainers (Belly Dancers, Bollywood dancing, Indian Twist dancing, and more), Food (from all over the world for the tasting), Crafts, infromational booths, and just a good little festival. We met up with Laura, and Olivia.. the cutest 4 1/2 year old. :) We were there until about 445pm. Good times.
I went to bed at 11p lastnight and slept until 800a this morning. Man it was such a needed rest.Working at Job # 1 right now, and in 2 hours will be at Job # 2.  I wonder if they did anymore work on my Candy displays? hrmm.

Movie Reviews:

Accidental Husband -  I really enjoyed this movie much more then expected. I never even heard of it, and it contained well known stars. Uma Thurman, Colin Firth, Jeffery Dean Morgan.  Its about a Radio show Love Doctor  Emma (Uma Thurman) who believes that the romantic love is unrealistic, that women should settle for reality. Find a man that will have the maturity to love you and stay in love with you. She is content in her life with a man , her publisher of her upcoming book R.E.A.L. Love, named Richard (Colin Firth). She gives some advice to a woman named Sophia who was set to marry a Patrick (Jeffery Dean Morgan). Through a twist of events Emma is "accidentaly" married to Partick, just 2 weeks before she is due to marry Richard.

Total chick flick, in the reverse fashion. I quite enjoyed it, and it had a great part with an indian festival.
3.75 out of 5.

UP - An animated movie about a man who wishes to fullfil his deceased wifes life adventure. He plans to take thier home and fly it to Paradise Falls in South America.  Until a wildscout , trying to earn a final badge, gets mixed up into his plans.

Suprisingly this movie was not quite what I expected. I really liked it, but I thought it was just a grummpy man hating the world, until I saw the begining. For this being a kids movie, it was quite emotional and realistic in the begining. The animation was great and over all it was a feel good movie.
4.5 out of 5

I am totaly getting celeb crush on:  Jeffery Dean Morgan

Self Worth/Self Investment


Self-Worth is defined as the quality of being worthy of esteem or respect; "it was beneath his dignity to cheat"; "showed his true dignity when under pressure"

I believe people out there have issues with thier self worth becuase of outer apperances, society views, weight, abilities, and well anything else that can influence how a person can feel about themselves.

I'm about to be REALLY honest with this entry , about my own self worth.  I know that this is my diary, and i can type whatever I want. Its possible people will respond negativly or positivly.. w/e. Its just that its hard to really admit you don't see your self as your pretend to see yourself.

I love myself, I do. There are so many great qualities about myself and who I am. I know tons of people who will feel that I am a good person and do deserve great things.  Everyone deserves happiness in thier lives, its just that how can anyone be *really* happy when they aren't really happy with themselves? How can you expect someone to like/love you if you can't like or love yourself even more.  I am faulted in that , I love friends/family/boyfriends with my heart, and I trully feel that I love them more then I can love myself. Now I know I just said I love myself and then I said I didn't. Here is the thing, I love who I am on the inside. I know that i deserve to feel appreciated and loved for who I am as I am now. But I look at myself, and I see so much more then what I am looking at. I see this girl, who has such a huge heart, that she would take on more heartache then she would need, becuase she loves/cares for others so much. I see someone who has a winning personality and is truly a fun person. I see a girl who loves "love" and being in love. But then I see the outward things... the girl who is pretty, but not as pretty as she could be. I'm a big girl. Am I ashammed of being big.. No and yes. Yes only becuase I allowed myself to not have the dicipline I had to maintain health.. I let excuses become reasons.  No I am not ashamed about being big, becuase I have embraced that is who I am. Being big, is NOT the end of the world or me. But then I see how much i invest into things.. I spend lots of money on living (rent/gas/bills/food) and I spend another great amount of money on misc (dvds/games/fun/entertainment/life)...

I decided to sign up for a gym and a personal trainer (more to come on this in a min) .. but I almost didnt want to do the personal trainer because of its cost. Then I realized in that moment and thought, I needed to.  Why is it that I can justify spending, 60$ a month for entertainment (Gamefly/Netflix/going to the movies) and then probably about 80 a month on hobbie purchases....  but I can't bare the thought of spending 90$ a month to invest on my health/nutrition/and self.

Really I get it, Personal Trainers are pricy, but the thing is why did I feel that I was not worth the $90 a month  to better my health & nutrition ?

So that is when I decide i am worth it, and made the decision that starting Oct 1 (when my membership & PT experience begins) I will be doing things to better myself and trully make myself see the person I see on the inside & the outside match!  Sure its about losing wieght, but its more then that. Its also about making myself happy.

Tags:

One of my friends experienced a terrible lost this weekend... and almost lost his own life. :(

-Shadist My heart goes out to you!-


PLEASE GO AND GIVE SUPPORT/COMFORT

500 Days of Summer


This weekend was quite nice.

I got to leave a bit early on Friday. I called into our town hall meeting, instead of attending it, that was I was able to run some errands and get home to finish up cleaning before the girls came in.  They got in about 6pm. Thao and I did a group effort and made Dinner:

Ranch, Herb, Lime, Parmasen cheese Cruster Baked Chicken (NOMNOM)
Steamed Corn of the Cob (Sweet Corn)
Angel Hair Pasta with Six cheese and green pepper sauce (mmmm)
AU-Gratin Potatoes (<------ Though we kinda cooked and forgot about them!! lol)

It was really good. Around 915p the girls, Thao, and I all headed to Easton to see 500 Days of Summer. This movie was really good. At least I can say I quite enjoyed this film. It is a story of a boy and a girl who meet, but its not about love. LOL.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt has TRULY grown up in this. I remember seeing him on 3rd rock from the sun! lol And Zooey Dischell.. Come on she is just great too.  Anyways I would recommend this to anyone out there. Its good.

Saturday when we all woke up, we headed to get breakfast at bob evans and then we headed to the thrift store. The girls wanted to go shopping lol.

After our filling breakfast and stop for ice coffee, we came back and got ready for a night at the fair. Thao joined us there too. We walked around and pet the animals, did some shopping and ate food! Typical fair events.  I ran into Vickie (she used to be my boss when I worked at the shell gas station in 2001-2003) I bough 5 $1 tickets from here and passed them out. Thao won a dollar so she got another ticket it, and that one won $20. lol Nice!

The evening began to creep upon us, and soon it was time for the David Cook Concert! I had such a great time, and David put on a really great show! His opening act, Green River Ordinance, was pretty damn good too, I bought thier CD.  While at the concert I ran into Joe Massari, this kid I have not seen since like 2000, He is from Cleveland, so the chances of running into him at the fair, AND the concert were just WOW.  We caught up a bit.. then all of us enjoyed the music.

At the end of the night, we got ice cream and headed home. Kendall has a handicap parking pass, so we got primo parking AND an easy access to leave. It was nice.

Sunday I did NOTHING! Except watch anime and Medium it was AWESOME!